The following (I've typed it up in blue) is taken from a 1950's home economics textbook teaching high school girls how to prepare for married life. It also appeared in Housekeeping Monthly in 1955. It's too bad Justin wasn't born in that era - he might have had a more good-natured wife!
1) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and car concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Pancakes count, right? I think long and hard about my pancakes.
2)Prepare youself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Make-up? What make-up? He may have spent the day with work-weary people but that's nothing compared to the long evening he'll have with his grouchy wife!
3)Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
I ran out of gay and interesting a long time ago.
4)Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip trough the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
It's gonna take WAY more than a dustcloth, baby!
5)During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Yes, seeing him relaxing comfortably while I cook, clean, and take care of screaming children provides immense personal satisfaction. I'm sure you all feel the same, naturally.
6)Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
"Kids - Daddy is coming! Now you can cry all you want!"
7)Be happy to see him.
Okay, joking aside, it really is good to see him come home. But that might be because it's such a relief to have some help!
8)Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Justin would probably say that my smile probably conveys this message, "I'm not sure we did the right thing having children." (That's sarcasm, people. I love my kids.)
9)Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Yeah, talking about our offspring is of little importance.
10)Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
What, "this house is a disaster!" isn't an appropriate greeting?
11)Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
I do complain when he's late for dinner, but why? He's the one that eats cold food. And staying out all night is totally fine, too. And hey, I won't even ask you about it, either! (see #14)
12)Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Every man's dream: his wife lying him down in the bedroom. Say. no. more.
13)Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice.
My voice is always naturally soothing and pleasant. Why would I ever be shrill?
14)Don't ask him questions about his actions or questions his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
I'm not going to touch that one.
15)A good wife always knows her place.
Yep... at Wal-Mart, the stove, the diaper station, the sink, the vacuum, ....
Hope you had as much fun reading that as I did! Sorry, honey, but I'm afraid I've got a long way to go!
21 comments:
Oh I am cracking up! Thanks for the good laugh, Kenz, I needed that today! You are hilarious, and I love your and Justin's relationship. You guys are great...it's a good thing our husbands appreciate us even though we aren't near the types of wives those ladies were supposed to be back then! ;)
Hilarious! How crazy that things have changed so much.... and how thankful I am that they have!
That is so funny! How times have changed. Speaking of pancakes, we had french toast for dinner. Breakfast for dinner is the best! Danny is lucky if when he comes home, I don't say "let's go out for dinner". A woman's job is much harder than a man's. I don't care what anyone says.
Thanks for that!! I laughed so hard, especially at your perfectly expressed responses. I agree with you on all accounts! What kind of crazy alternate universe was that?! I doubt a single woman actually did all those things... except for my bitter landlady next door who resents all the help Rich gives me. You should see the dirty looks she gives me! She brought Rich homemade cookies the other day because she said she was SURE that I never made him any. Crazy right?
Um, I'm not sure how to comment on this one.
I thought you did all of those things already just naturally--I didn't know you had published guidelines to follow.
LOL
What a great read. Thank HEAVENS we have evolved!
Thanks for sharing I haven't laughed like that in a while. Those women must have been ready for translation if they really did all those things.
Your blog is always so entertaining! I needed a good laugh today...Thanks
I laughed all the way through that!! Shows how much things have changed in 55 years!! Ain't no way I would have the patience or the time to do all those things when he got home. And I get bugged when he gets home late too.
Kenz, you make me laugh. I love your responses. So true! I'm so glad we've come a long way since then.
As for your daily grind post, I hear ya and I only have 1.8 kids right now. Don't know how I'm going to do it when the 2nd one gets here. If only we had a full day to our selves once in a while.
How funny. I'm glad things aren't that way anymore : ).
That is hilarious -- I could not have done it! Love your responses.
I love it!!! I think I would be the most terrible wife back then. Kent even tells me he would hate to have a wife like that, it would drive him nuts!!! thank goodness because I am I would die too.
Oh Kenzee, you crack me up! I'm definately glad I didn't live in that era!
Kenz...you are totally HILARIOUS!!!!! When I read that I totally laughed right out loud!! Thanks...I needed that.
I've got to make sure that Jen sees that... Totally a classic! After some of the days that Jen goes through, I'm happy if I get a "hello" out of her.... Way too good!
oh man - that was great! I sure have a lot of work to do if I even want to live up to half of those things! haha. thank heavens for informative articles like these to help us realize we're sure falling short! :)
great post! I need your address..
I don't see what's so funny. Isn't this how every wife & husband interact? I know this just about discribes our life.
KIDDING! This is great. Thanks for the laughs!
I laughed my head off the entire time I read that. You are hilarious!! And I am right along with you....needing a lot of work in the "good wife" department. Seriously hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
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