Marriage

I had my long time friend, Jacy, over yesterday for a visit. I've known her since first grade. We've had times when we were best buddies, times when we lost touch, and times when we wanted to pull each other's hair out. But now that we're adults it is so fun to be with her. She is the kind of friend that you can cozy up with and talk the afternoon away even though you haven't seen each other in years. She asked me an interesting question while she was over. She looked up at a plaque in my home showing that Justin and I got married in 2003. She said, "8 years! Wow! Has your relationship changed and become stronger in all that time?" Now you have to realize, I'm just not a really deep, thoughtful type of person. I don't spend a lot of time contemplating things, and had never thought about this subject much. I gave a stupid response like, "Well, things are good. I don't know that we've changed all that much. We're just going along." Later that day I felt kind of dumb that I didn't have a better response. I think I felt bad that I didn't give me and Justin more credit.
Now Jacy has been through a lot. She's seen about all the bitter that is possible in a marriage. Hers didn't work out and she's now an amazing single mom. You can read her amazing blog here. I felt like it was selfish of myself not to acknowledge how blessed I am, when so many marriages end in heartache. After thinking on it for a day, I can definitely say that Yes! Justin and I have changed. Yes! We have become stronger. There were lots of moments that made us stronger. Here we are at the beginning... don't we look happy and hopeful?

And then lots of stuff happened. School. Jobs. Church callings. Stress. Moving. Disappointments. And we've experienced heartache together. But we work through it and love each other. And all these hard things make us appreciate each other. 

And then came kids and I feel like I became a different person. It felt like I didn't have hobbies, talents, things that made me unique from the other moms down the street. It was just being mom. But Justin loves me through that and does a wonderful job of letting me know that I'm special. We've glued sprinkler pipes together, we've finished a basement together (with my Dad, of course), we've dealt with icky extended family stuff together, and we've gotten mad, and cried, and laughed. We're lucky if we get a conversation together every day, since the kids are always making noise or interrupting us, but we know that the important things always get said at some point. We say I love you every night and so we're doing good. We look at our kids and then look at each other and our eyes say, "We made something pretty cool together." So I don't ponder too often on what we've been through or how we've changed, but I just know we're still going through it and I'm glad we're with each other. 

If your friend had asked you, "Has your relationship changed and become stronger?" What would you say? Thanks, Jacy, for making me stop and think.